Why? Why do we want an adoption that is open to some degree? Many reasons – but here are a few highlights:
- The biological family is potentially a whole other set of people who can show love toward your baby as they grow up. We can never have too much love, right?!
- Regular communication between us and the biological parents means we have the ability to ask them questions directly. This is especially important when it comes to family medical history. It’s also important for background reasons – maybe our child is gifted when it comes to art, and perhaps we learn that there is a long line of artists in the family!
- When the child has access to speak to their biological parents directly, they can understand straight from the source of why they were placed for adoption. They can learn that it was an act of love. They can hear it in their “tummy mommy’s” own words.
- Put yourself in birth mom's shoes. Wouldn't you want to be in your child's life a little bit? Or perhaps at least receive updates as to the milestones they've achieved along with photos? It might make her feel reassured in her decision, happy to see everything her child is accomplishing, etc. So when you look at open adoption, it can be beneficial for the whole adoption triad (the birth family, the adoptive family, and the child).
So, when I say – not only do I hope we have an adoption that is open to some degree, but I hope that our baby’s birth mother (or birth parents, or someone in the baby’s biological family) can be our friend, I’m serious. This is part of the reason why I am so excited to speak with a birth/expecting mother who is interested in us as her baby’s adoptive parents. I hope we click immediately. I hope there is a comfort level there. I know that it may not play out that way (or that quickly), but I’m hoping and praying for the absolute best-case scenario here. I’m going to do my part to speak it into reality.
What questions do you still have about open adoption? Comment below!